ocean of change
I’m headed to the Pacific today, which is appropriate. The ocean always makes me think of birth, rebirth, change. What better place, better day, to think those thoughts? I’m not big on year-end...
View Articleset the machine to scan for irony
I was chitchatting with Michael earlier, and we had the following conversation. What he’s “I told you so”ing me about isn’t really important – just look at how nice the “I told you so” is! So creative,...
View Articlepower & pain
Sort of funny. In the middle of a nasty wind storm here, which means the temperatures have bottomed out, and once again I don’t have steady internet access – or power. (This makes the second time in a...
View Articleevery streetlamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning
It’s 11:13pm. Thursday evening. I have a pile of work to the left of me, a pile of reading to the right, a large monster masquerading as a cat draped across my feet, and a slightly smaller cat...
View Articlefalling apart at the seams from the pressure of overwhelming apathy
I’ve been trying to hold myself together, these past few months, with little but sheer force of will. It’s always kind of surprising to me when I discover that’s not enough, but… it hasn’t been. I have...
View Articleshe said it so much better
It’s funny. One of my dearest friends is going through something almost identical to me right now, but the circumstances of our lives just makes it near impossible for us to talk to one another. At...
View Articlehurdles
I bit one bullet today, and admitted to a colleague today just how badly I have been doing, and why, and what steps I’ve taken to try to fix it, and how it’s not worked, and what I’m doing now …...
View Articlewaffles
Life is hard, and a lot of it is not about the mistakes you make, but the lessons you learn after – and how you react. Do you integrate and learn and modify, or do you stay in a rut? … Continue reading →
View Articlepassages
Last night, and for the first time, I talked about and cried about my mother to another person – well, to a friend. (I’m pretty sure the one off counselor I tried to see when I realized things weren’t...
View Articlebeauty in the rising signs
I’m sitting at my desk, a little after 9pm on a Saturday night. The sun has set, the sky is a rich indigo, the trees inky black stains against it. Jupiter is rising, bright twinkling just peaking over...
View Articlethe things that suck Olympics
….after a very long day, where you end up breaking and showing just how fragile you are, too, to be laying in bed, encouraged to talk about a serious and painful bit of your personal history… and have...
View Articleink trailing in the sea
It’s not that I forgot, it’s just that missing you has died down to a steady ache, rather than one sharply punctuated every year. Or maybe it’s that I’ve been talking about you a lot lately, to new...
View Articlethese things go through your head
When I was little, my mother would buy the peanut butter that had separated in the jar. When we got home from the store, there was always the ritual of dumping the peanut butter into a bowl, stirring...
View ArticleI’ve had a shit day.
I could talk in metaphor. I could talk about how I always had a problem navigating cliques, as far back as I can remember. I could talk about my niece having problems that are so painfully familiar,...
View ArticleA Million and One Little Pieces, Minus the Million
I expected to fly into approximately a million little pieces, give or take, by about 3pm Friday afternoon. In fact, I was so convinced that this was going to happen I began pulling things together to...
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